My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
