Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
FUCK WHALES
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
