Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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