so let's talk penis.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
