the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
