he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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