Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
