Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
