How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
false alarm. still invincible.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
