Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
