It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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