Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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