I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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