Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
