Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
