I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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