I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
