yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
