I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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