ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
