he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
