why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
