she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
