She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
