this just has baby written all over it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
