Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
