found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
