is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
