My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
