drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
