how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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