Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
