Me. At least after what I've been through.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
