If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
