I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
