there was a trapeze. enough said
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
