Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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