I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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