we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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