ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
