did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
