just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
