Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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