He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
