i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My dick has a subreddit
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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