So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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