In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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