maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just found a bag of teeth...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
