i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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