someone owes me an orgasm
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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