I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
