I hope mine doesn't look like that
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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