on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
